


Sacrifices to the Yaoi God

by orphan_account



Series: shitty stories that will give you tumors [7]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Homestuck, Warriors - Erin Hunter
Genre: Crack, I'm Going to Hell, M/M, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-05
Updated: 2016-08-05
Packaged: 2018-07-29 12:15:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7684171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>will you believe me if i said that i'm not going to hell because i think i am</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sacrifices to the Yaoi God

**Author's Note:**

> im sorry you have permission to kill me

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXX  
This is my first fanfic in the Warriors fandom. Please be gentle and don't FLAMMME MY STROY OK!??!/!/!/!?1?1/11/  
If you flame, I'm going to sacrifice YOU to the Yaoi God.  
Enjoy!11!  
XXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXX  
The Yaoi God was ANGRY  
and HUNGRY.  
He needed to have a sacrific from the YAOIZ  
so he went to the komahina residence.  
"I want your yaoi sacrifices!" The Yaoi god screamed!  
Hinata said, "Komaeda, this means we must sacrifice a non-yaoi lets find one."  
Since Tsumiki and Nanami were yuris they were sacrifice but tsumike cry and Nanamu was AGNER! (A/N: Yuri is non-yaoi so it's a sacrifice!)  
"I dont wanna be your sacrifice and neither does my yuri girlfries Tsumike!1!!!@212!" nanamy screamesd  
the yaoi god was ANGER at the sacrifice not wanting to be sacrificed so he SCREAMED and ATE BANANANANANANANANANANANANAMI AND THE ANNOYING ORANGE!!!!!1!!!!11!  
But his anger GREW and he said, "Because of your sacrifice resisting, i want more!"  
Hinata said, "we dont havem ore"  
The Yaoi God then said, "THAT MEANS YOU DONT DESERVE MY BLESSING FOR A YOAI RELATIONSHIP. GOODBYE HINATA HAJIME. YOU ARE NOW TALENTLESS AND YAOILESS!"  
and the yaoi god swallowed hinata's yaoi mate, Komaeda, whole.  
hinata cried  
Aftre moving on from the komahina residence the Ysoi God moves on to the Naegami residence.  
Yaoi God SCREAMS in anger! "Where is your sacrificeds!"  
Naegigs said, "We have Kirigiloser and Fuckwahwah here you go"  
Togami said, "and heres some money just in case they resist because were not geting eated."  
fuckwahawah sneezd and syoyo said, "WHOSA WEATING MY YURI M8"  
and then syo got eaten with kirigiri and nobody gave a shit.  
This isnt enough Yaoi god thought and traveled to a different dimension.  
He went into ThunderClan where Garystipe and Friesstraw already had their sacrifice....................  
Silverstream and Millie and Sandstorm.  
"Strawclan told us of oyur coming so we gathered this yuri threesome 4 u!" Garystipe said.  
The yaoi god was pleased and ate their sacrifiice happily  
and then mvoesd to the homesucks detention and then went straight to cronkri  
who had no pacifier................  
AND CRONUS AND KANRKI HEAD ASPLODE AND THE Y DSIE!1!!!  
so yaoi god moves on to erisock residents and said "Do u hav succrifise?"  
solux said, "sorry we lost them. i think they are at aradiad's hous itrs aradiedaedruadd and fefrei"  
eridna was in the background not smiling  
yaoi god asid "okay"  
and went to aradidas house and found aradeaid and fefeir and ATE THEM for his sacrificES.  
so then he went to hte davekat residences  
davave said "we have a yuri sacrifcie and a regular nion-yaoi"  
karkas said "ya theyre overa there its terezi and the rosemarys"  
yaoi god said, "thx also krakat ur dum as ususal"  
krakta said, "What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo."  
and then added "fuckass"  
so yaoi god went over to the next yoaiyaoi relationship. whicih he had granted to nobody and realised his sacrifices were enuf and he was ful.  
soyaoi god went to bed. he was so  
damn  
tired.  
and he accidentally slept on naegi, garystripe, karkta, and eridan and then nobody had yaoi mates anymore sicne they were dead and yaoi god had no more sacrifices and he died.  
liek ifu cri evritim  
the end

**Author's Note:**

> fuck my life


End file.
